Let me live

It's been one year and a half since my life in Australia , I came to Brisbane in Australia with big dreams and just one bag, leaving behind the love of my life , my family and friends, but it was time to start again , it was time to change everything I had done and twist my life 180  degrees. I even tried to change my name, but soon after I realise that your past is always behind your, the good things can be a good memory that can help you to keep going many times when you are close to give up and throw away everything , the bad things can help u to compare that you are living a better present , but there are such things that you can replace or find easy like love , that precious treasure sometimes drive me mad , I have had awesome fun and amazing sex nights , as I am gay that's not a difficult thing to find around , but love where is love ? I want to believe that true love is just in a thunder storm , or is the twitter of birds after rain , maybe is the light of the sun in every sunset or even sunrise , love is every where In Mother Nature , nevertheless we feel alone sometimes or at least I am feel alone, I have good friends but I would like to gift my heart to someone else , someone that could give me his love , all his heard beyond his body , his thoughts and his smile , I would like that to feel completely peace . I am not the perfect person and I am not looking either for someone perfect because there is nothing perfect, I love defects I love honesty overall , I ask life that I need to live I need to get that , but in vain I have found anything yet, my prayers has not been listen , probably I don't have enought faith , probably the one for me still out there waiting for me . I am asking myself that I need to live just that , I need to live and love my life everyday , and keep hope but I can't just wait I need to act , I have to push my weigh in this business too, but I am so inexpert , I don't know how, the last time I try to start something he just never answered again ,   He knew I liked him so much , but it was inevitable , maybe I showed too much my feeling, I fail , he didnt want to start a relationship but i was not intelligent enough to make him love me . I need to start clean to start limpio again , if you know what to do u would like to listen or to read your comments .